As i write this am sort of amused and disappointed in you. Well, you see, your son or daughter brought someone home that you think isn’t suitable for your family; that doesn’t live up to your standards.. Where do i begin with the truth now?
First, depending on that high standard son or daughter of yours, the one he/she brought home is their taste.. Is their standard.. Guess whose standards he/she is applying? His/hers. Where did they learn from? You people.. So, actually you contributed to the choosing indirectly.
According to psychologist Linda Nielsen, ‘Paternal closeness can unconsciously help adolescents make fewer mistakes when choosing a partner. Girls tend to be more confident around boys and won’t let anyone take advantage of their young age. They don’t seek to have multiple partners — in fact, they strive for the opposite.‘
An absent father.. we can guess the impact.. Your sons on the other hand look for their mothers. Isn’t it sad that he brought you home and you can’t stand it? Anyway, on a very serious note, it would be really wise for the in-laws to take a step back and let two people who may or may not be suited for each other figure it out unless one is a minor. Give them space, if possible let them have their own space.
Have you realized the more you try to convince your sons and daughters someone isn’t good enough the more they want them? The decision to walk away or separate is totally dependent on those individuals. Most times you watch an abused person go back to their abuser and you wonder.. Battered girlfriends defending whoever did it.. It is because that decision can’t be made for them.. It is solely dependent on your daughters or sons to either walk or stick around. I know it breaks hearts but all you can do is get them help but don’t try to make any decisions for them. You will only be disappointed.
I would give a lot of advice but until my sons and daughters who are yet to be born marry, i am no expert.